The Slut-Shaming Effect 3.
meet PRISCILLA: A friend of a friend who blew me away with her words. I don't know much about her but I do know she's an intelligent ,beautiful, black woman who is nothing short of amazing. Meet Priscilla.
Six days ago from today, I was asked to assist a friend by giving my thoughts on slut shaming and sexual assault/harassment. Ironically, three days after, I got a call from a friend of mine crying about her assault and experience with slut shaming by her family and assailant. Days before that, I received some comments on a Facebook meme from a young man shaming women for owning their bodies and living their lives. I know this may all seem unrelated, but I want you to realize that slut shaming is so ingrained in our conscience that it shows up in our daily occurrences with out us even realizing it.
A simple google search will tell you that slut shaming is "the act of criticising a woman for her real or presumed sexual activity, or for behaving in ways that someone thinks are associated with her real or presumed sexual activity". There are two sides to slut shaming: the side of the person being shamed and that of the person doing the shaming.
The person who is experiencing the shame may feel confused and rejected, their esteem may lower, and they may be filled with self doubt. There are too many times to count where I would wake up and dress myself, walk downstairs into my kitchen feeling confident and beautiful and sexy and ready to conquer the world just to be told a multitude of hurtful things. The person who is initiating the shaming is influenced by a multitude of things, such as culture and media. Being that I was raised in a Haitian household, but surrounded by an American environment, there are many times that I wear something that may be deemed as edgy in American culture but seen as "slutty" in my parent's home culture. Media has such a huge influence on our image, specifically the image of women. When Steph Curry rose up in basketball stardom, his wife became the "standard" for women everywhere and was used to shame other women in popular culture such as Amber Rose. Memes discussing men wanting "Ayesha Curry's" were spread rapidly, and women who didn't fit that narrow ideal were mocked. This idea of putting women against each other is dangerous. Ayesha didn't sign up to be the mascot for prudence anymore than Amber signed up to be the mascot of sexual liberation.
"People, men specifically, need to understand that if it's not your body it's not your business."
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But how do we change this perception of (mainly women's) implied sexuality? I believe that the more we talk about slut shaming, it's negative effects on the individual and society as a whole, the better. Talk about it to the point where people who slut shame feel uncomfortable even voicing their opinion on the bodies of others.