BISB: The Talking Phase Part 1

Breakfast In ShadyBrooke

The “Talking” Phase: Male Edition

Welcome back to ShadyBrooke my dear and faithful residents. Ok… let’s get to the point, when it comes to our love lives, our generation has many different views on life and love. While that may be a good thing, in some ways it’s a bad thing. If you’re like me, you are basically a “hopeless romantic” who is always preaching on the power of love and was raised by the “old school” approach. So when I first heard of the “talking” phase in high school, I was completely confused (WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO COURTING????). To be completely honest, I still have no clue what it is. As senior editor (I got a promotion y’all), I decided to do a combined special with my dear friend and fellow writer, Angela Blakely, to get the FULL scoop on the “talking” phase.

First, let’s go back to a few nights ago to when this concept was first brought up. It all started with a simple tweet by Angela and from then on it felt like we were back at the lunch table having one of our heartfelt talks. It got me thinking… What is the “talking phase”?? Does it have a set of rules that everyone must follow??Do boys and girls have different opinions on the “talking” phase?? I had to know. I was ignorant to this for too long!!

Of course I had to enlist a few special residents/ friends to help me, each of them at different stages of their love life. I decided to put some of my journalism skills to use and put together a few questions that each of them had to answer:

Define the “talking” phase.
What does the “talking” phase mean to you?
How long should the “talking” phase last?
Is anything longer than a month a bad thing?
Do you think talking for 3+ months “stringing each other along”?
Should you know basics (and learn more as you continue the relationship) or should you know EVERYTHING when first starting a relationship??

I honestly didn’t think the guys would take this so seriously. Some of the answers really scared me to death. We laughed about it of course, but they each gave an honest answer to the questions presented and for that I am grateful. Let’s start with Wayman, a young man who is just now starting his love life:

Wayman Fluker, 16:

The “talking” phase is two people communicate and get to know each other. Basically, showing what it is actually like to be in a relationship with that person.
To me, it means you only talk to me and no one else and that you potentially want to have a relationship with me.
The “talking” phase really depends on how long you knew that person so it could take a few weeks or a few months. For me, I would pick a couple months.
No, I feel that everything should go at a slower pace. If it takes a month… so be it.
No, not if you only want that one person.
You should just know the basics.

The young approach on love…………………very interesting. I have to say these answers kind of made me gasp. Is waiting for months at a time a new-age view on love or am I just a fast-paced old school lover? I’m going to wait to give my opinion though (Y’all can read that on Thursday’s visit). Next, we talk to Damonee, someone who has just got into his first real relationship.

Damonee Moorer, 19:

The “talking” phase means getting to know someone overtime before making it official between the pair.
The “talking” phase to me means that each person should be getting to know the other person on a personal and intellectual level before making an official relationship.
The “talking” phase should last maybe about 2-3 weeks. But, it honestly depends on the couple.
No, it’s not bad it may just mean the two may need more time to feel each other out.
Yes….if by the 3 month mark and the couple is still talking and not official on purpose something ain’t right.
Yea… I think its common sense that people know only the basics on the person.

I wasn’t really surprised by his answers for many reasons. One of them is because I’ve known him since middle school. At that point, I decided to ask a close friend that I’ve only known for a year. Lastly, we talk to JaRon, who is a relationship with the love of his life:

JaRon Godbolt, 19:

The “talking” phase means taking baby steps and growing closer to another person as you get to know them before forming a relationship.
I personally view the “talking” phase as the period after two people meet and they both have a mutual understanding that they want to potentially solidify things in the future.
There is no set time to be described as “too long” or “too short. The length of the “talking” phase is based solely on both parties’ desire to commit to a solid relationship.
No, not if communication is consistent and no plan B’s are involved, and each person is taking advantage of every moment to find out if that person is the one for you.
No….. Like I said, there is no set time for the “talking” phase.
You should know the basics, but I also believe that if you are going into a relationship there should be NO secrets.

I think this had to be one of my favorite interviews. Mainly, because he also included a long interview essay that gives what he thinks going into a relationship is about and the basic concepts behind it (which is included). Also, because I know his girlfriend and she’s as sweet as pie…. you can tell they love each other a lot.

As I conducted these interview I learned SO MUCH. I learned that some values are still kept at the traditional level. I also learned that somethings are a little more slowly paced than I would like. My overall analysis on the “talking” phase will be discussed on Thursday’s visit. But I would really like you guys to read Angela’s article on the woman's view on the “talking” phase.

With that being said… stay safe and keep your mind, body, and soul at ease. Until next time residents of ShadyBrooke! And remember “Spread nothing but peace, love, and shade!!”