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Hey guys, Welcome to Breakfast in Shadybrooke! This week we've decided to combine ourselves to talk about a topic that is and will always be relevant, Relationships.
On Sunday, I took to Twitter (@_xoxoangg) and expressed how I felt about the way we treat "dating" in our generation. I noticed that we don't treat dating and relationships how our parents or even grandparents did back in the day. Nowadays we've become so careless with each other. So Michael and I decided to ask our friends a few questions to get an understanding of why we are how we are today. I ask my bestfriend, and fellow blog member, Taylor also known as "DJTayTitties" (@SoloManiac_) and my good friend Tatyana
1. Define the "talking phase?"
Taylor: When 2 people are on mutual terms about having interest in each other and are willing to take the time out to find more out about each other (doesn't necessarily have to be open about it yet)
2. What does the "talking" phase of a relationship mean to you?
T: I feel like the "talking" stage is important because that's where a lot of trust and the bond is established and creates its foundation, when you find out major things about them, what they like etc. it's like the trial period.
3. How long should the "talking phase" last?
T: It should last however the two people want it to. As long as it's not a one way street. Such as one person being committed like not giving other people attention & the other person out here doing whatever. If they come to mutual terms about boundaries and abide by them then time doesn't matter I guess?
4. Is anything longer a bad thing?
T: (See Number 3)
5. Do you think talking for longer than 3 months is "stringing each other along"? T: No I don't.
6. Should you know EVERYTHING or just the "basics" when going into a relationship? (I.e, Pet Peeves, Favorite Things, ETC)
T: Nah. I don't think I need to know everything. It feels good to learn more and more about a person as time goes on. It's like they never become boring.
I asked Tatyana the same questions, here are her answers.
1 AND 2) To me, the "talking phase" is the stage where two people are mutually interested in each other and are wanting to get to know more about one another, learn each other, build a connection/foundation prior to a possible relationship.
3) It's so hard to put a time stamp on things like this because each situation and person is different. There are some people who can click right off the bat and may feel as if a short amount of time (from weeks to a couple of months) is enough. And then there are those who may feel as if 3+ months is necessary. I honestly think it can work anywhere between 3-9 months. A year max depending on the situation.
4) Like I previously stated, I can't really put a specific time stamp on this stage but I would say that "talking" for over a year is questionable.
5) No I do not, my first relationship which was pretty serious..started off with 9 months of talking. In this particular case we were just vibing, going with the flow and not rushing things(though we still had the understanding that a relationship was in the near future). I thoroughly enjoyed using that time to build a connection and get closer to each other.
6) Eh, I think it'd be safe to say you should know the basics and maybe a tad bit more before going into a relationship, but it's impossible to learn EVERYTHING about someone in a restricted time frame. The longer you are with someone, the more you will and can learn about them. There is always something more, of a deeper aspect to learn about your significant other.
I loved the answers Taylor and Tatyana gave to the questions. They seem to be the type to be very laid back in a relationship and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We have to understand that every relationship is different and sometimes, "going with the flow" isn't a bad thing. Take your time with dating and "talking", there's no need to rush what can't be rushed. Stay tuned for Part 3&4 as me and Michael give you OUR take on how we deal with relationships and it's different phases.
Stay black y'all. 🏿